Category Archives: life
Don’t Hide or Alligators Might Eat You: A Guest Post from Kyla Cofer
Some blogging friends of mine are picking up the slack for me this week while I’m in Ecuador and I have a feeling you’re going to like what they have to say. If you missed Monday’s post from Lexi MacKinnon, check it out here.
Next up this week is my friend Kyla Cofer. Kyla and I met when we both ran a half-marathon with a great group of people from Powered by Hope. She’s passionate about pursing justice around the world and in your own backyard. She’s a writer, too, and talks about justice, faith, and life on her blog Kyla’s Joy.
Last week, I was going about my normal volunteer activity. The one that I’ve been overly involved in for two straight years. The one that has become like home, like family to me, and a normal part of life.
That day was a strange day in this country. Throughout the United States, people more or less…lost it. I keep hearing “that sort of thing was happening all over the country that day”, when I mention the riot that shut down the wave pool or the fear that was in the air. This might have been caused by the heat of the summer, or the placement of the moon, I don’t know – but I do know there was fear in the air.
If no one else felt it, well, I did. I went to my volunteer location and tried my best to hide the warning bells going off inside of me, that there was a spirit of fear present. This spirit slowly built inside of me until I was unable to think of anything else.
When I left that night, I was thankful that a friend was in the car with me so I could work out my thoughts a little. Then I called another friend and talked about it with him, since he also volunteered that night and felt the same spirit of fear. Then, I called a third and closer friend, because I noticed that I was still not okay and needed to both talk it out one more time and have someone praying over me.
You don’t know me, so I feel the need to tell you how big of a deal this was. See, my heart and emotions used to live in a guarded stone castle with a moat and hungry alligators.
I lived (and still do, which makes me cringe as I confess it) with a lot of pride, that keeps me from speaking about that which I deem ugly. I get embarrassed about silly things, or think that my thoughts and feelings are items on a to-do list that I need to “get over.” That spirit of fear I mentioned? The moated castle would have talked me out of the danger. I would have said, “this isn’t that big of a deal, it’s not real, you’re being dramatic, and nobody really cares.”
All of that sounds pretty dumb when I write it out.
The fortified castle thinks that no one can or needs to help defend it, because the castle and hungry alligators are enough to protect.
How incredibly different life is when we build a drawbridge.
With a drawbridge, I get to choose who I let in. I let in those three friends who came into my guarded castle, saw the danger, and helped protect me. There is no shame in allowing people to enter in and work through the challenges with me. In fact, it turned out that friend #2 probably needed to talk it out, as well. There is no shame in sharing what I thought was ugly (my tears and anxiety). Friend #3 flat out told me, “I’m glad you called, because you don’t need to take the spirit of fear into your house”.
Wow. She was right! A spirit of fear has NO PLACE in my home. I refuse to allow it. Had I not called my friends that night, fear would have made its bed in my sanctuary.
Build a drawbridge. Then learn when to let it down and when to put it up. Stop hiding, it will only leave you alone, and with hungry alligators for company.
Good stuff…how can you and I learn to really trust people enough to let them speak into our lives like Kyla’s friends did? Thanks for talking about your experiences, Kyla. You can connect with Kyla on Twitter and be sure to keep up with her blog where she talks more about life…and alligators.
Weird Life for God: A Guest Post from Lexi MacKinnon
I’m so excited to introduce you to some blogging friends of mine this week who are guest posting for me while I’m in Ecuador. I have a feeling you’re going to like what they have to say.
Today’s post comes from my friend Lexi MacKinnon. Lexi is a young-twenty something living and working in Nashville as she prepares to move to Pallisa, Uganda September 4th (yeah, that’s right, moving). She is the Founder of Executive Director of Muzungu Mama Ministries, a Christian non-profit organization passionately dedicated to bringing the light of Jesus into Eastern Uganda by loving children and their families. Here is part of her story. Take it away, Lexi.
Most often when I tell my story, I talk about 10/10/10. That’s the day I had an earth-shattering encounter with God where He literally told me, “Go to Africa”. Today though, I want to share a piece of my story that I feel really opened the door for that encounter with God to even happen.
The profound heart change for me really began days before on 10/6/10…I know this because I keep crazy detailed prayer journals/letters to God about what He’s doing in my life each day (it’s a practice I highly recommend).
I was sitting on my porch outside my apartment, having my regular daily “quiet time”. I had said a short prayer, read a chapter from my Bible, and opened my Oswald Chambers devotional My Utmost for His Highest. I can’t remember exactly what I had read in scripture that day or what I read in Chamber’s book, but both were on the importance of being different and how the world will hate us if we are truly following Christ.
The wheels in mind starting turning and conviction hit me like a Mack truck. It was like nothing I have ever experienced before in my entire life. I realized that, even though I professed Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior (and that had supposedly been the case since childhood), my life had never really looked any different from the world.
I spoke the same. I behaved the same. I thought the same. I had the same dreams and goals. The only thing that was different was that I woke up on Sundays to go to church and spent a few minutes every day reading my Bible. Outside of those segregated times…I was no different than a “nice atheist”. NOTHING in my life was truly different from the ways of the world.
At that moment, I slumped down in my chair and sobbed for a good while. I knew that I could not be just another Christian who settled for the American dream with Jesus sprinkled on top. I wanted to truly sold out for the Kingdom of God…nothing less!
After I pulled myself together, I vowed that I wouldn’t let that be just one emotion filled moment with Jesus. I needed to take action…so I made a list of everything that needed to change and I got to work!
I had no idea then of the journey the Lord would take me on in those impending months or that a mere four days later I would experience a supernatural call to “Go to Africa”…but I knew I wanted to be different. I knew I had to be different.
I made a decision in that moment on that day that has forever altered the course of my life! I decided that I wanted to live a life so weird and counter-cultural that everyone I encountered would stop to wonder why.
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. -Romans 12:2
I decided to finally be different FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD! Will you?!?
Thanks for sharing your story, Lexi! Even though God may not call you to move to Uganda like Lexi is doing, He’s calling you to something…something more than, as Lexi said, the American dream with Jesus sprinkled on top.
You can keep up with Lexi by following her on Twitter and you can read more about her personal journey to Uganda on her blog. Learn more about Muzungu Mama Ministries on their website or Facebook fan page.
Suffering from a bad case of tunnel vision
I’ve come down with a bad case of tunnel vision lately. I’ve gotten into a funk of only seeing only what’s in front of me and failing to see the bigger picture.
Webster defines tunnel vision as an “extreme narrowness of viewpoint; narrow-mindedness.” Yup, that sounds like a pretty good description of my line of thinking these days.
For me, it’s looked a little like this recently:
- “My degree won’t pay off in the end and I’ll have to settle for doing something I’m not passionate about.”
- “I’m not good enough/don’t have enough experience/don’t have the right connections to see dreams come to fruition right now.”
- “What I’m doing right now defines who I am.”
- “I’m stuck in [fill-in-the-blank] … it’s never going to change.”
Pretty lame, right? Yeah…pretty much.
Besides from encouraging an incredibly self-centered view of life, this tunnel vision keeps me from seeing how God might be using this season to shape me more into the person he wants me to be. Seeing just the right now limits my ability to trust God for what’s next.
Yesterday my friend Grant tweeted that “right now is not forever. Step back. Look ahead. See more.” And he’s right. The right now is not forever. Right now is a season–a season that God wants to redeem in order to…to…well, I’m not really sure right now. But that’s the tunnel vision talking. Stepping back to see more frees me to dream and trust God for what I’m not seeing right now.
So I’m trying to remember that right now is not forever.
Have you ever been locked into just seeing what’s right in front of you? How did you push past that tunnel vision?
Decide Already
Recently I’ve been wrestling with a decision about what I’m going to be doing for the next year or so. It has stressed me out and taken up way too much of my brain power. [And when there’s not a lot of extra brain power to spread around, every bit is important.]
I analyzed every possible scenario and outcome for the situation. If I do this, then that will happen. If I choose this direction, then I’ll have to say no to that.
Round and round I went, causing frustration for myself and everyone who had to listen to me gripe about my conundrum.
I got to the point where a decision had to be made. A deadline was looming. Finally, a family member had to just tell me to decide already…to let my yes be yes and my no be no.
Although the outcome of the decision didn’t look exactly like I would have liked for it to, there was an overwhelming sense of peace in having made a decision.
I think know I use the “I’m still thinking through it” excuse to justify my decision-making procrastination. I often use that as a crutch. I use it to keep me from having to make that hard decision, that painful phone call, or having that difficult conversation.
It keeps me from having to fully commit to something and serves as my excuse for not stepping out in faith. “I’m still thinking about it, God” is my go-to answer.
Don’t get me wrong—taking the time to fully consider and pray about a situation and the ramifications of a decision are very wise. But using that to an extreme can be detrimental to my peace of mind and my ability to walk out in faith into the unknown.
In what ways can you and I just decide already today? How would that change things for you–could you know a deeper peace? And could just deciding already be the catalyst you need to step into the place that God has been pushing you to?
Permission to start
Seth Godin has said that “we spend most of our days waiting for permission to start.”
Nothing could describe me better these days. I wait for the right moment, the right set of circumstances, the right dew point before I step out into the unknown.
I wait for someone to validate my idea or dream. I seem to have this need for someone to say, “Yes, that makes sense…you can now go ahead as planned because you are bound to succeed.”
That one still hasn’t happened. Darn it.
And in reality, it’s probably not going to happen.
Waiting for permission to start gives me a really good excuse to not take a chance. It keeps me safe. And it kills me at the same time.
Maybe you’ve been there/are there now. Chances are, you and I aren’t going to have someone give us permission to start–permission to pursue that thing/person/idea/dream. It just doesn’t happen.
So, seeing as you and I aren’t going to have that person come up to us on the street today and give us a boost of confidence and take away any kind of fear/frustration/anxiety/questions, we may as well begin anyway.
In the end, you are the only one who can give yourself permission to start. I think when we do that, we’ll experience freedom from the need to be “safe” and in the process, learn how to really live.
So let’s start.
Like this:
Sometimes it’s (really) hard to believe
The Bible presents readers with a lot of outrageous statements, concepts, and events that require an individual to have at least a measure of faith in order to believe they are actually true.
Things like the whole creation story.
Or all those accounts of people being raised from the dead.
Or a talking donkey.
Lots of stuff to consider and be asked to believe.
The whole creation vs. evolution thing doesn’t really trip me up in my faith.
Pondering the existence of a Creator doesn’t keep me up at night.
Thinking about end times prophecy doesn’t usually throw me into a tailspin.
But my doubts and struggles often take a hold when I try to consider who God is and what He says about His character.
Allow me to explain…
I’ve been reading in Ephesians lately, and for some reason, I just can’t seem to get past chapter one. It’s a passage I’ve read before, but when I started to read it the other day, it knocked me down.
It goes a little something like this…
God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding. (1:5-8)
It’s verse five that I struggle with. God wanted to adopt me into His family (an action that, once done, could never be undone)? And doing this gave Him great pleasure?
No…really? What the heck? That’s a little too hard to believe, isn’t it?
You’re telling me God actively wants to step into my mess to rescue me?
He takes pleasure in getting involved in all of my insecurities and pride?
He knew ahead of time that I would be consistently inconsistent in my faith in Him and that my heart would, more often than not, choose everything else but Him?
No…really?
I sometimes often struggle with remembering the truth of God’s unchanging character. I struggle to believe that it could be as good as Scripture proclaims. Maybe you’ve been there too. You believe God exists and maybe you even believe that He’s good.
But could I ask that you consider believing something further?
Your Creator takes delight in you. He’s not out to get you, just waiting for you to screw up. He longs for you to let Him into those dark places you’d rather keep hidden. He wants to step into your messy and utterly hopeless situation and breathe life and hope into it.
Yeah, it’s hard to believe that it really could be that good. But He’s God. And we’re not. That’s a truth I can believe, trusting that He’s going to be patient with me as I grow to understand Him more.
Busy-ness vs. Business
Seth Godin blogged this recently:
Measuring busy-ness is far easier than measuring business. Busy-ness might feel good (like checking your email on Christmas weekend) but business means producing things of actual value. Often, the two are completely unrelated. What if you spent a day totally unbusy, and instead confronted the fear-filled tasks you’ve been putting off that will actually produce value once shipped [completed]?
When I think about where most of my time goes during a week, the majority of it is spent on busy-ness…activities and projects that, at the time, seem vitally important, but in reality they drain life from me and cause me to burn out quickly.
There is a fine line between busy-ness and business. Busy-ness creates chaos, unrest, and stress in my life. Engaging in business allows me to create, grow, and confront those “fear-filled tasks” Godin talks about.
I keep myself stuck in busy-ness because it makes me feel like I’m accomplishing something without having to risk a big-time failure. If I can fill my calendar with a bunch of activities I know how to do or that are easy for me, then that’s a good day, right? Yeah, not so much. Been there, done that, and got the T-shirt to prove it.
I think know I’ve got to engage in things that scare me if I’m going to grow creatively, relational, and spiritually.
Maybe you can relate. Let’s make 2011 a year where we get down to business and stop being so dang busy with busy-ness.
Big Buts
Mike Foster, blogger over on the awesome People of the Second Chance site, recently made the following statement:
The only thing that has ever held you back from having what you want in life is the size of your but!
And in case you were wondering, no, we are not talking about junk in the trunk here.
It’s the but that tells us our hopes and dreams are just a waste of time.
For me, it goes a little something like this…
I want to learn to be a good leader, but I don’t know where to begin.
My heart is for the nations, but plane tickets cost too much to consistently be a part of foreign missions.
I want to help churches engage in the fight against poverty, but I don’t have the connections or relationships I need in order to get started doing that.
I have a passion for writing, but it’s not good enough to be taken seriously.
Maybe it sounds a little different for you. It might be more along these lines…
I know that I have musical/artistic/creative talent, but I could never make a living at it, so why even try?
I want to start my own business, but I just know it will never work…it’s too risky.
My heart is for ________, but it’s too expensive/socially unacceptable/dangerous to even try to reach out to them.
The size of those buts is what holds you and me back from the God-given dreams and ambitions in our lives. It cripples us and it serves as an easy out to avoid stepping out in faith and taking a risk.
We are using the wrong coordinating conjunction in our dialogue (sorry, sometimes the English grammar nerd in me just comes out). It’s time to remove the buts from our lives. When we do, things start to sound a whole lot different…
I want to be a good leader, so I will intentionally seek out ways to be stretched and challenged to lead.
My heart is for the nations, so I will work to manage my finances better in order to give to missions and go on missions more consistently.
I want to help churches engage in the fight against poverty, so I will intentionally seek out new relationships and partnerships in order to help churches see their roles in seeking justice in the world.
I have a passion for writing, so I will work to consistently better my writing and learn from other bloggers and authors to refine my skills.
When you and I choose to remove all the buts, we choose adventure over safety and faith over fear. More importantly, we step into a life characterized by God’s ability to do in us and through us what we would never be able to do on our own.
And that’s the kind of life I want to live. What about you?
10 Things I’ve Learned in 2010
2011 will be here in just a few short days. I’m excited to see what’s ahead for the next year, but I don’t want to leave behind what I’ve learned these past 12 months. And since I’m a chronic list maker, I’m reflecting on 10 things I’ve learned this year.
- I’m too quick to over-commit to “good things” and because of that, I miss the right things. Rest is essential. It does not equal laziness. It allows me to recharge so I can be more productive when I am working at something. You can’t pour out of an empty cup.
- The Church (globally and locally) is a beautiful thing. I’m so thankful for how God has healed my heart and attitude towards the Church. And I’m thankful too, for my Cross Point family who, by putting feet to faith, are helping me learn to believe in and love the body of Christ again.
- It’s better to be a creator than a critic. Far too often, I fall on the critic’s side. That has its place, I suppose, but I want to be a creator of good, not a sideline critic of all.
- I’m often too comfortable in my life. I’ve avoided risk like the plague. I’m a planner. I’m struggling with the reality of the Gospel message and the fact that it calls for risk and taking leaps of faith into the unknown.
- God is more interested in me knowing Him, not knowing all the answers.
- An occassional game of duck-duck-goose is good for the soul.
- The power of grace is beyond compare. It’s messy, complicated, and mysterious. And the story of grace is still amazing to me.
- Working towards a specific goal with measurable results has the ability to change what you think is possible and the limits you put on yourself.
- I am (and you are) found by God. Not caught. Found.
- Coffee with a friend or a simple night with family are some of the most valuable times in my life.
What about you? What have you learned this year? What does that mean for next year?
Resolving to not make any resolutions
2010 is quickly coming to a close. And what a year it has been.
Pretty soon people will be talking about resolutions they are forming for the coming year. I’ve been there, done that, and failed miserably.
I think the reason I’ve always failed at keeping New Year’s resolutions is that I make it an all-or-nothing proposition. I don’t allow myself any flexibility. I either workout everyday, or I just screw everything up. I either manage my money perfectly every time, or it’s all over.
So this year, I’m calling an end to the crazy cycle of resolutions. I’m resolving to not many any resolutions.
No more empty, unrealistic ideals to chase after only to beat myself up about later when I fail.
Instead of making resolutions, I’m forming a set of goals for the coming year. Things to actively work towards, if you will. Things I want to learn how to do better. Having a “goal” just seems a lot more achievable and realistic than the all-or-nothing attitude of “resolutions.”
Here’s five things I’m working on for this year:
- Read more. I love books. I love how reading opens your mind up to a whole new world (excuse me while I geek out about literature…phew…glad that’s over). I’m a sucker for a cool looking book cover or a classic work of literature, but I so often don’t make a concentrated effort to sit down and read. I hope to wrestle my way through more books this year than I have before.
- Dig into Scripture more. Technically, this could go along with reading more, but I see it a little differently. I’m surrounded by things that talk about God–blogs, books, music–but I often substitute those things for actual interaction with God in His word [again, just keepin it real here]. And those other things are all well and good. Helpful, even. But I don’t want just that. I want to experience the rich text of Scripture and be changed by it. I’ve got a note in the front of my Bible that simply says “this is not a series of hoops to jump through to get saved. This is an invitation–an invitation to know God.” I want to get back to consistently knowing God through His written word.
- Get in shape. Because, again, let’s just keep it real here…I’m not. In shape, that is. I know this is like the number one resolution every year and is often broken on January 2, but I want to consciously improve my health and make better choices. Plus, I’m signed up to run two half-marathons in April (again, what was I thinking?) so I want to actually improve my finish time from last year.
- Invest in people and relationships. I’ve seen very clearly this year just how much I need people. You and I were never designed to try to do life as a solo act. It just doesn’t work. I want to be intentional about strengthening current relationships I have and investing in new ones…relationships that have some depth and purpose, beyond shallow conversations about the weather or how the Titans did over the weekend.
- Say no. This one kills me. I’m so prone to over commit and run myself ragged in the process. Spurgeon once said that ”rest time is not waste time. It is economy to gather fresh strength.” I often have a hard time comprehending that. I want to experience the value and beauty of Sabbath rest.
So what about you? What are you working towards in the coming year?
