Category Archives: life
Fear is a Jerk
Fear is a jerk.
A big, in-your-face, no good, rotten, terrible jerk.
And I lose to him far too often because I give up too easily.
He keeps me from trying new things.
He keeps me from taking chances.
He keeps me from pursing old passions and new ideas.
Take writing as an example. I love the written word and really believe that it has incredible power and effectiveness when used properly. When I’m writing, I feel alive. Life makes a little more sense when I’m able to put words to a situation.
But if I really believe this, then why haven’t I written anything in over a month? I could go with the holidays/had to work/other things came up line. And while this is partially true, it’s an easy excuse to hide behind because it keeps me from facing the real bully in front of me…fear.
If I’m honest, sometimes a lot of the time, fear keeps me from pursuing a craft that means so much to me. I fear what you’ll say about something I’ve written. The fear of publishing something that is just poorly constructed or confusing keeps me from even trying sometimes. I’m worried about what you’ll think about what I write, and consequently, what you’ll think about me based on what and how I write.
Lame, I know, but it’s a real fear.
When I let fear be the jerk that he really is, I automatically lose. But he’s had far too much power for far too long. It’s time to stand up to this monstrous bully and stare him down. He’s won enough battles lately and I’m tired of getting beat up by him.
My friend Chris K. Davidson blogged about fear lately and threw down this challenge…
Let’s develop a fiery, inextinguishable passion for living and thriving. Let’s put ourselves out on a limb. Let us march forward on the path set by the One who knows that everything will be alright in the end. Let us complete what we dream and let us not be disappointed when some of the results are not exactly what we wanted. Let us not be afraid of failure; let us be afraid of not trying.
When 2012 comes to a close, I hope to look back on it and realize that this was the year that I stood up to the bully called fear and won the battle. I want to be able to say that I really understood what it meant to trust Christ enough to walk into the dark, uncharted areas of life knowing that I really have nothing to fear.
Because, really, in the end, fear is just a big jerk.
Suffering from Sign-me-up-itis
I’ve got a condition.
It’s called Sign-me-up-itis. Maybe you’ve suffered from the same problem.
It begins when you see a lot of cool looking opportunities…things you know you’re talented in or that you enjoy doing.
Good things. Fun things. Important things. Worthwhile things. Life-giving things. God-honoring things, even.
You think about it for a second, and then utter those three calendar-killing words, “Sign me up!”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating not serving others or being involved in something that makes you feel fully alive. Far from it.
But one of the things I’m constantly having to work on is being still…avoiding the urge to sign up for every cool new opportunity and adventure. Because I’d love to do it all. But I know it will kill me in the process if I try to.
I often find it hard to just be still…to stop trying to let my identity be found in how many slots in my calendar I can fill up.
The idea of a Sabbath is a weird one for me. I love the idea, but I often don’t take it seriously. Rob Bell (ohh…is he going to quote that crazy guy? Yes. Yes, I am. Deal with it.) recently tweeted the fact that ”on the Sabbath, we hear again that our worth and value do not come from what we make, produce, or accomplish.”
Or what we sign up for. There’s a balance to be had.
Sure, there’s a lot to be found in investing in something that you truly to believe in. But there’s also a lot to be found in living with a Sabbath-honoring mentality. Let’s learn how to do that together, ok?
What’s Your One Thing?
What makes the difference between wishing and realizing our wishes? Lots of things, and it may take months or years for wishes to come true, but it’s far more likely to happen when you care so much about a wish that you’ll do all you can to make it happen.
–Fred Rogers
What’s your one thing?
What’s that one thing, deep down inside of you, that makes you tick?
The thing that when you’re doing it or around it, you light up?
The thing that makes you feel fully alive. What is it for you?
That special thing inside of you that you care so much about that you’ll do anything you can to make it happen.
Now the hard part…how do you actually make it happen?
What does that look like for you?
I don’t really have an answer for this one…I wish I did. So that’s why I’m asking you.
How do you/did you make your thing happen? How do you fight the resistance as you run after your thing?
What’s your story of pursing your unique, life-giving, incredibly important thing?
4 Things to Stop Saying to 20-Somethings
Living life as a 20-something is always interesting. It’s a season of life that’s I’m finding is filled with a lot more questions than answers.
I believe in 20-somethings though. We know we still have a lot to learn, but we’re not lazy, stupid, or refusing to grow up as some might and have suggested.
Having said that, and with all due respect to our elders and those who have gone before, may I suggest a couple of things, that may or may not have been said to me, that you should stop saying to the 20-somethings around you?
“Here’s what you should do…”
Also known as the “here’s-my-advice-for-you-even-though-you-really-didn’t-ask-for-it-awkward-conversation.” Don’t get me wrong…I appreciate and seek the counsel of those who have been there and done that, but there is a difference when I’ve just met you or when we have a surface-level relationship and you offer some seemingly wise words about what I should do with the rest of my life.
Try this instead: Give advice when it’s asked for.
“What do you do for a living?”
Can we please all agree to retire this question once and for all? You and I are more than our job titles. I get why people ask this…it’s an easy conversation starter. It just gets old, especially if, as a 20-something you’re still in an entry- or low-level job that’s not really your passion but pays the bills.
Try this instead: Ask questions like “What are you passionate about?” or “What’s your story?” to initiate a conversation. That makes it less about what you do and more about who you are.
“When do you graduate?”
Also known as “You’ve graduated, right? It’s been long enough” or “How much longer until you graduate?” or “What do you want to do when you graduate?” or “Are you going to grad school/seminary when you graduate?”
Again, I get it why this question is asked…when at a loss for better conversation material, some resort to asking their resident 20-something college student about his or her academic progress. And it’s nice that someone would take an interest in how school is going. As a 5-year college student myself, I’ve been asked this question more times than I can count. Could I respectfully submit to you that I’m more than just a student and life is more than getting that piece of paper on graduation day?
Try this instead: Simply ask “What’s new?” If someone wants to talk about school, they will. Don’t force it.
“You’re not qualified to lead.”
Also known as “You’re too young to lead” or “You have to wait your turn to lead.” I don’t buy that. Not for a second. Believe me, as 20-somethings, we know we have a lot to learn and we are not opposed to “paying dues,” but just because we’re young doesn’t mean that we are automatically disqualified from leading…whether it be in business, the church, or whatever.
Try this instead: Empower and push the 20-somethings around you to be leaders in real ways. Believe in them and give them a chance to show you what they’re capable of.
What do you think? Am I overthinking this? What would you add to the list?
Monday Musings
Monday Musings…a random set of facts and thoughts bouncing through my brain this week.
- Thankful for the girl. Kate is an encourager like you wouldn’t believe and she’s constantly teaching me what it looks like to love people well. If you don’t know her yet, you need to. (And be sure to ask her about going herping.)
- Can we all agree to retire questions like “what do you do for a living?” You are more than your job title/life situation. Why not use something like, “What’s your story?” or “What are you passionate about?”
- Transitions can be good sometimes. Transitions can also really suck sometimes. The next few weeks include a lot of transitions for some of my best friends and I that will cause us to go in different directions. I know the transitions will be good…I’m just not looking forward to it. No one said I had to enjoy it.
- Community is messy and hard and beautiful and freeing all at the same time. I’m thankful for the new friends I’m finding in my community group at Cross Point.
- Recently got a new job with Regions and started the intense training process. I’ve never done this much training for a job before, but it’s going pretty well so far. If you ever need to know anything about anti-money laundering practices or the Banking Secrecy Act, just let me know. No robberies yet and I’ve managed to not lose track of my cash box. (And by the way, could I interest you in opening a checking or savings account with us? No? Ok, I see you need some time to think about it. I’ll check back with you.)
- Words are powerful. They can be life-giving or life-draining. Choose yours carefully.
- A “you’re doing a great job” goes so far to boost somebody’s day. Go be a cheerleader for somebody that needs it today.
- I’ve noticed I use the ellipsis (…) way too much when I write…I just throw it in…everywhere…sometimes for no good reason…I need to work on that…soon.
What’s the latest and greatest in your world this week?
Fears vs. Dreams
I hate to admit it, but I sometimes often operate out of fear.
Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Fear of [fill in the blank with a myriad of other options].
That fear slams the breaks on my dreams and keeps me from pushing towards what could be. It keeps me from living a good story.
What’s your biggest fear? What’s your greatest dream?
Finding Margin
I’ve written before about how I’m terrible at creating margin in my life. It’s something that I have to constantly keep in check. I think it’s part of my people-pleasing problem. I’m still working on it.
Brad Lomenick recently blogged about the incredible importance of creating margin…
Margin in our lives overall creates options. Options to pursue dreams, think, pray, relax, meditate, process, grow and ultimately live life more fully. On the flipside, lack of margin makes us tense, creates stress and pushes for quick decisions. Lack of margin leads to stale and unhealthy relationships, and drives us towards the most available options at the time, but many times not the best. Lack of margin makes for rushed projects, for forced creativity, and for strategy that only thinks of the short term gains, not the long term opportunities.
My assignment for myself this week is to be intentional about creating that free space on my calendar so that I have options. If I’m not intentional about creating margin, it won’t happen. And when the margin is not there, I don’t grow.
How do you create margin in your life? What’s your go-to activity, place, or routine that helps you to step back from your packed calendar, if only for a short time?
Transitions: A Guest post from Chris K. Davidson
Today’s guest post is from my friend Chris K. Davidson. Chris is a singer/songwriter extraordinaire living in Montevallo, Alabama. He writes about life and faith at his blog over at Rescue is Coming and talks music over on Indie Locale. Today, he’s throwing down some truth about transitions. Take it away, Chris…
“Man, I didn’t think you could talk, let alone sing.”
That was the “compliment” I received after playing my first ever high school talent show. I was terrified when I walked up to the microphone and sang an original tune I had written not two months prior. Once I left the stage, things didn’t seem so different. Only the tip of the iceberg had been revealed.
I have always been intrigued by the transitions we all experience in life. For me, that night at the talent show gave me a confidence that before had never manifested itself in my normal day-to-day. I was satisfied in being known as “the nice and quiet kid.” I never got in trouble and refused to talk out loud in settings that did not require me to speak. I was comfortable because safety never required risk. Singing that song allowed me to create a memory that never would have happened if I had kept to myself.
I continued this new “life change” into my first few years at the University of Montevallo. I was determined to reinvent myself without compromising who I truly was at the core, a follower of Christ saved by the grace of God who wanted to do more than be a spectator Christian. I was tired of sitting on the sidelines. I wanted to move, I wanted to go. I got involved in several college ministries, went on a few mission trips, and even joined a fraternity to experience a brotherhood and family-like atmosphere and to impact my peers in a positive manner.
I wish I could say everything went smoothly. I experienced some great moments in my college career, but I knew hardship well. There were times where I couldn’t find God’s direction or thought I wasn’t doing enough for Him. Reminders of grace came along the way in the form of a conversation with a good friend or even something as simple and magnificent as a sunset. These moments pushed me into a deeper relationship with Christ and gave me a sense of the true meaning of the Gospel, “transitioning” my faith from works-based/me-centered belief to an ocean of mercy that overflowed my heart.
I’m learning that the beauty of life is that it’s always changing. We don’t like change most of the time. It involves moving forward, leaving our comfort zone, and embracing the unknown with a healthy dose of potential failure.
Two months from today, I will be a college graduate. I get to join “the real world” and part of me is still that quiet kid who is terrified of risk.
However, the other half of me is realizing the importance of moving forward, of leaving behind what holds us back from truly discovering what this existence has to offer.
No matter how good or bad these changes can be, there’s always a sense of relentless joy. And that’s all we need.
That is all we need, especially when moving forward is full of risk and the unknown. Thanks for sharing part of your story, Chris!
Chris recently put out a compilation CD to benefit Alabama tornado relief efforts. It’s got some pretty sweet tunes, so I know you’ll want to check it out and pick up a copy. Please and thank you.
If it wasn’t for fear holding me back…
Finish this statement today:
If if wasn’t for fear holding me back, I would _________________________.
Ready?
Set?
Comment.
Sweaty Living: A Guest Post from Kate Fields
I’m hanging out south of the border in Ecuador this week so a few of my friends are helping me out by serving as guest posters here on the blog. If you missed Monday’s post from Lexi MacKinnon or Wednesday’s post from Kyla Cofer, you can check them out here and here respectively.
Rounding out this week’s great guest bloggers is my good friend Kate Fields. Kate and I have been friends for…well, forever and a day. She’s a triathelete and artist (though not at the same time). She has an incredible heart for missions and she’s got some pretty crazy stories from trips she has been on. Here’s a little bit of what’s running through her mind these days. It’s all you, Kate…
“Have the guts to rewrite the rules, color outside society’s perfect lines, rebel against what’s comfortable, love in spite of heart break, dream outside of sleeping, have faith in humanity even when it gives you reason to not, fight against injustice, create instead of consume, be brave, be kind, … maintain unwavering humility and dance until your dripping with sweat from the beat of your own passion.”
Here’s a quote that I discovered about a year ago… and though I haven’t a clue to whom the credit is due, I fell in love with it. Quotes are wonderful things aren’t they? They often provide the needed inspiration for the right moment when we read them; they seem to have wisdom beyond everyday dialogue. The author of a quote matters a great deal to me because it is in the authorship of a quote that I establish its credibility. That is why I found it particularly bothersome when I read this and couldn’t link the author to its wisdom.
When I read it, it struck a chord in me like any good quote does. I immediately began getting teary, then quickly printed it off and taped it to my bedroom wall. Though its been there a year, I’m still just as fascinated by it. I do think it’s idealistic in some ways, but I am an idealist…I tend to see things for what they could be and try to live as passionately as possible. I have often thought that a life of apathy is one of the worst commissions one could embrace; I am in constant admiration of people who believe in a cause and live passionately to see its fruition.
Though the quote never mentions courage, it seems to allude to it with every line. Doesn’t it take courage to color outside society’s lines, to dream, to fight injustices, to love in spite of heartbreak? Isn’t courage knowing your weaknesses and pushing them to become strengths? Isn’t courage being unsure if you will succeed and yet trying anyway?
It takes great courage to attempt something while you are unsure if you can finish it successfully; it takes great courage to love after heartbreak. When humanity has tossed you around and you have lost faith in the decency of people, it takes courage to heal and believe again that kindness and compassion are the norm instead of the exception. If you think about it, the most famous men and women of history possessed a courage that is almost other-worldly.
Who am I talking about? Martin Luther nailing the 95 Theses to Wittenberg, Nelson Mandela opposing apartheid, Elizabeth I refusing to persecute based on religion, the man that stood in front of the tank in Tiananmen Square, etc. Put up against these examples, it seems as though none of us could have similar courage….that is untrue though. These people simply believed in a cause and they didn’t waver when the opposition approached; they lived with conviction… the kind of conviction that defies apathy.
As I sit writing this, I know that you and I have the courage to possess this kind of conviction, we just don’t realize it. Maybe we don’t realize it because we are surrounded by so many distractions all the time… maybe it’s time to set a couple hours or days aside so that we can reflect about what we believe in and where our passions lie. Seek them out…find them and then, live them.
May you and I “have the guts to rewrite the rules, color outside society’s perfect lines, rebel against what’s comfortable, love in spite of heart break, dream outside of sleeping, have faith in humanity even when it gives you reason to not, fight against injustice, create instead of consume, be brave, be kind…maintain unwavering humility and dance until your dripping with sweat from the beat of your own passion.”
I want that kind of conviction that defies apathy. Wow! Great stuff Kate! Thanks for sharing! You can catch more of Kate’s thoughts on life and faith on her blog, All We Need Is Love, Love.
