Don’t Hide or Alligators Might Eat You: A Guest Post from Kyla Cofer

Some blogging friends of mine are picking up the slack for me this week while I’m in Ecuador and I have a feeling you’re going to like what they have to say. If you missed Monday’s post from Lexi MacKinnon, check it out here.

Next up this week is my friend Kyla Cofer. Kyla and I met when we both ran a half-marathon with a great group of people from Powered by Hope. She’s passionate about pursing justice around the world and in your own backyard. She’s a writer, too, and talks about justice, faith, and life on her blog Kyla’s Joy.

Last week, I was going about my normal volunteer activity. The one that I’ve been overly involved in for two straight years. The one that has become like home, like family to me, and a normal part of life.

That day was a strange day in this country. Throughout the United States, people more or less…lost it. I keep hearing “that sort of thing was happening all over the country that day”, when I mention the riot that shut down the wave pool or the fear that was in the air. This might have been caused by the heat of the summer, or the placement of the moon, I don’t know – but I do know there was fear in the air.

If no one else felt it, well, I did. I went to my volunteer location and tried my best to hide the warning bells going off inside of me, that there was a spirit of fear present. This spirit slowly built inside of me until I was unable to think of anything else.

When I left that night, I was thankful that a friend was in the car with me so I could work out my thoughts a little. Then I called another friend and talked about it with him, since he also volunteered that night and felt the same spirit of fear. Then, I called a third and closer friend, because I noticed that I was still not okay and needed to both talk it out one more time and have someone praying over me.

You don’t know me, so I feel the need to tell you how big of a deal this was. See, my heart and emotions used to live in a guarded stone castle with a moat and hungry alligators.

I lived (and still do, which makes me cringe as I confess it) with a lot of pride, that keeps me from speaking about that which I deem ugly. I get embarrassed about silly things, or think that my thoughts and feelings are items on a to-do list that I need to “get over.” That spirit of fear I mentioned? The moated castle would have talked me out of the danger. I would have said, “this isn’t that big of a deal, it’s not real, you’re being dramatic, and nobody really cares.”

All of that sounds pretty dumb when I write it out.

The fortified castle thinks that no one can or needs to help defend it, because the castle and hungry alligators are enough to protect.

How incredibly different life is when we build a drawbridge.

With a drawbridge, I get to choose who I let in. I let in those three friends who came into my guarded castle, saw the danger, and helped protect me. There is no shame in allowing people to enter in and work through the challenges with me. In fact, it turned out that friend #2 probably needed to talk it out, as well. There is no shame in sharing what I thought was ugly (my tears and anxiety). Friend #3 flat out told me, “I’m glad you called, because you don’t need to take the spirit of fear into your house”.

Wow. She was right! A spirit of fear has NO PLACE in my home. I refuse to allow it. Had I not called my friends that night, fear would have made its bed in my sanctuary.

Build a drawbridge. Then learn when to let it down and when to put it up. Stop hiding, it will only leave you alone, and with hungry alligators for company.

Good stuff…how can you and I learn to really trust people enough to let them speak into our lives like Kyla’s friends did? Thanks for talking about your experiences, Kyla. You can connect with Kyla on Twitter and be sure to keep up with her blog where she talks more about life…and alligators.